Yankton, South Dakota

Population: 14,516

Yankton is Cow Capital of South Dakota. Do you hear me? Cow Capital of South Dakota. Not Cow Capital of the World, not the U.S., not even of the Midwest. But Cow Capital of the state of South Dakota. I hope that gives you an idea of how many cows are in the Midwest.

At this point, I have to be honest: I am sick of the Midwest. If I see another stretch of land so flat I can see cows in Wisconsin, I am going to scream. The vastness and isolation of it all really stresses me out. Also, the smell. Much of the Midwest smells like actual feces. The farm animals are eating well, because that shit is potent.

We received the warmest of welcomes when Yankton greeted us with a literal blizzard. Many of our workshops were cancelled, but we still managed to perform 4 shows in town. Thankfully, the snow masked a bit of the poo smell.

Our first performance was for an audience of about 250 men incarcerated at Yankton Federal Prison Camp. Yankton is a low-security prison; most of the men are serving the end of their sentences or have committed non-violent crimes. The educational/artistic programs at the prison give me hope. They offer a degree program, a creative writing class, and a program that trains and fosters dogs. We performed Twelfth Night in their gym. A bunch of the guys helped us load in and pack our truck. It was great getting to talk to them while all working to accomplish a common goal.

Performing in front of an audience of adult men who have found themselves living in a federal prison camp is one of the most exhilarating and terrifying experiences of my life. I was suddenly way too aware of my hands and couldn’t understand why my lines suddenly sound so phony coming out of my mouth. It’s a self-consciousness that I haven’t felt onstage in a long time. I’m also always surprised at what excellent listeners prison audiences are. Maybe their ability to engage with Shakespeare has to do with the lack of technological distractions. That’s one theory I have, at least.

Every year, the prison’s Creative Writing class publishes a collection of art, poetry, and short stories titled 4PM Count. There was a review and photo from last year’s National Players’ production in the 2018 book. We all got a copy, and I devoured mine within the dingy brown walls of our Best Western “Plus” hotel room. The writings were profound and included the following subjects: grieving the lost opportunity to watch their children grow up; missing their wives who must continue on living without them; reflecting upon their past crimes and their futures outside of prison; and sharing childhood memories of family and baseball games. I look forward to reading next year’s copy, which will feature a review of our performance of Twelfth Night.

After performing at the prison camp and surviving the blizzard, we performed our full repertory of shows at Mount Marty College. The students were enthusiastic, and the nuns were overjoyed to have us on campus. We ate dinner one night with the Benedictine nuns at Mount Marty. It turns out that nuns eat a slice of ham and some oranges for dinner. Someone feed these women, please! They are wasting away! They were incredibly kind and welcoming and even sang a blessing over the company, with their arms outstretched above us.

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A Few Things That Depress Me While on Tour:

-When you just want to escape your gross hotel room and so you look up the only coffee shop in town, and you arrive to find it is closed for the winter, because no one likes to drink warm drinks in the cold.

-When the nicest restaurant in town is the one in your hotel.

-Your clothes will need at least two times in the dryer, and you will never have enough quarters. Mental breakdowns and hotel laundry go together like white people and the Midwest.

-When you memorize the menu at the restaurant in your hotel.

-When the hotel staff harasses you and won’t allow you to meet with your company in the breakfast room.

-When the only microwave is in the breakfast room, and the hotel staff harasses you for using it.

-Hotel Child Birthday Parties (there are so many of these, probably because of the pools)

-When you wake up 5 minutes after breakfast has been put away, so you just eat some handfuls of dry cereal and go back to sleep.

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-When you can’t get your prescription medications, because of red tape and human error.

-When you miss your family and cat so much it makes you want to leave everything and just go home.

Don’t get me wrong., I love this job, but sometimes it’s really hard. Living out of a suitcase can be disheartening. I really miss my family and having a home. (Which is part of the reason I took an impromptu trip home to Memphis—details in the next post!)

Your Dear Lady Disdain,

Jamie